I know I am not the only woman “waiting for my prince to come.” In the past few years I have strayed away from using that language, but the truth is I am indeed expecting a prince. I am expecting a man who will sweep me off my feet because of his love for God and his love for me. I am expecting a man who I can sit and have deep spiritual talks with, who will exhort, encourage, and challenge me in my faith. But before I get caught up in what I am looking for, how about lets talk about what all of us women should be looking for, or better yet waiting for, and what the few men who might be reading this should strive to be.
Criteria for a Godly Husband
Ephesians 5:22-33 is a spiritual and structured guideline to a godly marriage. It begins with the role of wives in the marriage, shortly followed by the role of husbands. Even after this passage, Paul includes how parents and childrenshould interact with each other. For this post, I am going to focus on the role of husbands (even though I could go on and on about the role of women and who we are to be) for the purpose of what women should be looking for in prospective husbands and what men should strive to be like before entering into a dating or courting relationship (whichever term you want to label a relationship with the goal of marriage).
- “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Eph 5:25).
A husbands first duty is to love his wife in a sacrificially (or selfless) way, with Christ as his ultimate example.
- “…that he may sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph 5:26-27).
A husbands second duty is to keep his wife pure. A man who tempts a woman sexually, pressures her to do sexual acts, uses crude or sexual humor, touches her inappropriately, or does anything that may suggest anything relating to sex, immorality, or leading her to be impure, is NOT godly husband material. A godly man will place a woman’s purity as his top priority, seeking to have her presented on her wedding day as a pure and spotless bride before the churchand before God. So women, if your man is not striving to guard your heart, mind, and body from lust and sexual thoughts and deeds, he is not worthy of being your head, the head of your house, or the head of your family. Men, ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice your needs in order to maintain a woman’s purity. Are you helping her to remain pure, or are you leading her down a path that might lead to the destruction of both you and her?
- “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ver hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church…” (Eph 5:28-29)
By loving his wife, maintaining her purity and not abusing her in any way (this includes tempting her, touching her, distrusting her, not appreciating her), will in turn be loving himself. A man who does not love his wife does not love himself.
- to be continued in a later posts hopefully….
Yes, I realize that these things are very hard if the woman is not submissive and godly herself. As women, we must strive to remain pure in the Lord. It is not just the man’s responsibility, but our own. While we wait, we must strive to be completely submissive to Christ, to be a member of His Body (the Church), and to be ultimately one with Him.